Jokes, quotes, games - Page 84

Two clones are on a roof.
One clone pushes the other clone off.
The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.

What do dogs owned by chemists do with their bones?

They barium.

What did the one dog say to the other before they enjoyed their bones?

Bon appetite!

Are you a magician?

Because whenever I look at you, my clothes and the rest of the world disappear.

"This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."

Yo Mama so old she rode dinosaurs to school.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me if you hear Santa coming.

A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill.
He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
"This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!”
"Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. "What are you going to do, doctor?”
"Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.”
"Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, "Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”

How do pirates know that they are pirates?

They think, therefore they arrr.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!