Jokes, quotes, games - Page 81

A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world.
After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart.
He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yukon.
Yukon who?
Yukon say that again!

What did the scientist say to the chemist whose lab smelled like eggs?

Sorry for your sulfering.

Why did the man stand behind the horse? He was hoping to get a kick out of it

What is Mexicans favorite Nordic god? Thortilla

Why did the scarecrow get a big Christmas bonus? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Where should you go in a Mexican building in case of fire? To the M-exit-co

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Alec.

Alec who?

Alec to give you kisses.

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."

Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer?

She wanted to ice it.