Jokes, quotes, games - Page 82

A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.
The e-mail reads:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in.
Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.

An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first?
The apple because the rope catches the black person.

The lawyer's client had to face a death sentence because of his bad execution.

First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?"
Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."

Hot, and I want you every day.

You must be peanut butter.

I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers.
Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.

Yo mama is so dumb, where it said, "Do not write here" on her application, she wrote "Ok."

Did you hear about the man who sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.

One day in Contract Law class, the professor asked one of his better students, "Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?" The student replied, "Here's an orange." The professor was livid. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"
The student then recited, "Okay, I'd tell him, 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind, and seeds, anything hereinbefore or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding."

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Al.

Al who?

Al give you a hug for Mother’s Day!