Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?"
Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Black Humor
Black humor, also known as dark humor or gallows humor, is a form of comedy or satire that makes light of serious or taboo subjects, such as death, violence, disease, and tragedy. It often involves using irony, sarcasm, or satire to point out the absurdity or incongruity of these topics, often making light of the tragic or taboo aspects of them.
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Q: How many Jews can you fit in a car?
A: 2 in the back 2 in the front and 6.23 million in the ashtray.
A: 2 in the back 2 in the front and 6.23 million in the ashtray.
A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?"
His friend nods. "Sure."
"Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..."
He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin.
His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment.
"Dude, that is not cool."
The doctor, indignant, defended himself.
"What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients."
His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
His friend nods. "Sure."
"Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..."
He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin.
His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment.
"Dude, that is not cool."
The doctor, indignant, defended himself.
"What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients."
His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race?
A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
What's black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?
A nigger with a spear through his head.
A nigger with a spear through his head.
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender?
A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman: "have you got a little brain?"
The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have."
Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?"
The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."
The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have."
Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?"
The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."
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