Lawyer jokes
You are now in the Lawyer jokes category. Currently, you will find 173 jokes on the subject of Lawyer jokes, which we are constantly expanding for you.
Many years ago, a junior partner in a firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed.” The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately.”
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Their lips move.
Their lips move.
A defendant who had pleaded guilty saw the jury that had been empaneled, and he announced that he was changing his plea to guilty. When the judge asked why, the defendant pointed to the eight women and four men in the jury box. "When I pleaded ‘not guilty,’ I didn’t know women would be on the jury. Judge, I can’t fool even one woman, so I know I can’t fool eight of them.”
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Fifty-four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.
Why did the elephant lawyer lose his case?
Because his argument was irrele-phant.
Because his argument was irrele-phant.
A young lawyer is working late one night when his door opens and in walks Satan himself. "I have an offer,” says Satan. "If you give me your soul and the soul of everyone in your family, I’ll make you a full partner in your firm. The lawyer stares icily at the devil for a full minute before demanding, "So, what’s the catch?”
Having just moved to a new home, a young boy meets the boy next door. "Hi, my name is Billy,” he says. "What’s yours?” "Tommy,” replied the other. "My daddy’s an accountant,” says Billy. "What does your daddy do?” "He’s a lawyer,” Tommy answers. "Honest?” asks Billy. "No, just the regular kind.”
A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?” "Sure do,” replied the bartender. "Good,” said the man. "Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my gator.”
Why was the law student not allowed to sleep on the bench?
He was served a bench warrant.
He was served a bench warrant.
How did the lawyer know that the knight wasn't the culprit?
He had an iron-clad alibi!
He had an iron-clad alibi!
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