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Lawyer jokes

You are now in the Lawyer jokes category. Currently, you will find 173 jokes on the subject of Lawyer jokes, which we are constantly expanding for you.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Fifty-four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.
Why did the elephant lawyer lose his case?

Because his argument was irrele-phant.
A young lawyer is working late one night when his door opens and in walks Satan himself. "I have an offer,” says Satan. "If you give me your soul and the soul of everyone in your family, I’ll make you a full partner in your firm. The lawyer stares icily at the devil for a full minute before demanding, "So, what’s the catch?”
Having just moved to a new home, a young boy meets the boy next door. "Hi, my name is Billy,” he says. "What’s yours?” "Tommy,” replied the other. "My daddy’s an accountant,” says Billy. "What does your daddy do?” "He’s a lawyer,” Tommy answers. "Honest?” asks Billy. "No, just the regular kind.”
A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?” "Sure do,” replied the bartender. "Good,” said the man. "Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my gator.”
Why was the law student not allowed to sleep on the bench?

He was served a bench warrant.
How did the lawyer know that the knight wasn't the culprit?

He had an iron-clad alibi!
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and an old drunk were walking along when they simultaneously spotted a hundred-dollar bill laying in the street. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course — the other three are mythological creatures.
The barrister was late to work because he couldn't find his lawsuit.
Why don’t lawyers play hide-and-seek?

Nobody will look for them.
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